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Post by fjohnson on Mar 21, 2017 16:45:15 GMT
I had been divorced for about 2 years. I had time on my hands, and since I was a member of a health club, I decided to start working out, again. I worked out on a set schedule and time and after a while you recognize people who are on the same schedule and time as you. There was an attractive women, I would have guessed as being 5’ 9” or 5’ 10” tall. One evening, she was working out on a machine that was about 30 feet from where I was. She was alone, and I thought this would be a good time to approach her and ask her out. I thought to myself, ”Nothing ventured, nothing gained”. I walked over to where she was and said these exact words. “I have seen you work out here for the past several months, and you are in great shape and very attractive, and I would like to know if you would care to go out sometime?” This is what she said to me. “I can’t believe you came over here!” “I can’t believe you said that!” She then stuck her index finger in my face and said, ”I don’t date shorter men!” (I am 5’8”.)
I was in total shock. I didn’t know what to do. I stopped listening to her, for I was trying to figure out a way to save the conversation. I was trying to figure out what I had said to make her so angry and fix it. It was then I realized I had only asked her out, and my only sin was that I did not meet her height requirement. So I turned and walked away while she was still venting.
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Post by Heightism Report on Mar 21, 2017 19:28:14 GMT
*****************
OP, I moved this post from the Gold Star forum. It's not that it isn't a quality post. It most certainly sheds some insights, but it blurs the lines between the issues of dating and heightism, thus, the content is more suited to be discussed in this forum than for it to be posted in the Hall of Distinction.
*****************
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Post by Heightism Report on Mar 21, 2017 19:35:14 GMT
This story highlights how women's almost wholesale rejection of short men isn't merely about "physical preference," it's about social status. Many women believe that their own social standing is reduced when a person of less social standing dares to speak to them, and the collective belief in society is that short men hold less status than pretty much any other group of men. A simple rejection would've sufficed, but she wanted to make sure you knew exactly which social class you belonged to, and in the dating world, short men are often assigned "leper" status.
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Post by fjohnson on Mar 22, 2017 14:04:24 GMT
Social Status? I never thought of that angle concerning a man’s rejection by a woman, but it is true. I have a second story to back that up your view and insight. When I was single, I knew a single father who had recently gotten married. His new wife was a RN, and she had single RN friends. He set me up to meet one of her friends, and all 4 of us were to meet at a Café for drinks. His wife and the girlfriend had been high school friends and both had been cheerleaders. Both women were 40, past their prime, but still looked very good.
During the conversation at the Cafe, the girlfriend says to me, “You’re short, but I will date you.” The man and his wife clearly heard this statement. I let the comment slide not wanting to create an awkward moment. When the gathering was over, I asked for her number, and she gave it to me. That night, I went to my bathroom. I took the piece of paper with her phone number and ripped it to pieces and dropped the shreds into the toilet. In 1 flush, they were gone. What I hadn’t told the girlfriend was that 3-4 weeks earlier, I met a 24 year old woman, who didn’t say a thing about my height. By the way, the 40 year old was 5’6” and the 24 year old was 5’7”. This 24 year old later became my second wife. My girlfriend/wife is almost 20 years younger than the social status heightist bitch. I wonder if she wondered why I never called her?
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Post by Heightism Report on Mar 23, 2017 18:27:17 GMT
***************** OP, I moved this post from the Gold Star forum. It's not that it isn't a quality post. It most certainly sheds some insights, but it blurs the lines between the issues of dating and heightism, thus, the content is more suited to be discussed in this forum than for it to be posted in the Hall of Distinction. ***************** Mr. Johnson told me his story first in an email that he sent me. I recommended he come to the Heightism Hub and tell that story and also to post any other comments that he wanted to. Welcome aboard! Yeah, I just wanted to provide Mr Johnson the courtesy of telling him why I moved his posts.(They were originally in the Gold Star forum) He certainly has come to the right place to discuss the content he posted, and I most definitely join you in welcoming him to the forum. |
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Post by Heightism Report on Mar 23, 2017 20:25:30 GMT
I'd also take the words of any woman who blatantly states that she would date you with a grain of salt, especially if she classifies your height as a negative in the same sentence. Women will often use overflirtatious statements as a way to gain validation from men, thus, their endgame isn't always romance, it's the satisfaction of being pursued, wined, and dined. How does this relate to heightism? Well, short men are much more likely to be mined for this sort of validation, used for free drinks and food, or to act as a temporary space-filler until the tall man she "deserves" enters the picture. Short men can avoid a world of nonsense if they understand this early in life.
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Post by fjohnson on Mar 26, 2017 16:01:30 GMT
“Women will often use overflirtatious statements as a way to gain validation from men, thus, their endgame isn't always romance, it's the satisfaction of being pursued, wined, and dined.”
Mr. Administrator you are correct again. I ran into a girl I had known from dating her younger sister. On a date with the younger sister, she told that her older sister did not like the man she was going out with, but since she had nothing to do that weekend, she went out with him. After all, he was paying.
The younger sister moved back home with her parents. About 4 months later, I ran into the older sister at a bar. She was very kind and attentive. She ran her hand down my chest, then ran her hand down my arm until she was holding my hand and suggested we sit down at a table. (She did not know what her younger sister said about her, so I had a heads-up on her behavior.) She said things like, I was hoping to run into you again, and I am so glad we met, I missed you, etc. I actually thought she liked me. At the table, I was facing the dance floor. She was facing the bar entrance. We had been talking about 5-8 minutes, when I say her eyes flash open and saw her face get a look of excitement. She said you will have to excuse me for a minute. She got up and moved fast. Any faster and she would have been jumping over tables and chairs. I followed to her with my eyes. She ended up in the bar entrance hallway. A tall man was leaning with his back against the wall with his knee bent to place his foot up against the wall. She was eagerly looking up at him while talking. After 5 minutes of this, I realized I had been played, so I went out the exit hallway. She did not see me leave, for there were 2 hallways, but I doubt she cared. I suspect, I would have wined and dined her if a relationship had developed, holding the place for Prince Charming to take, when he showed up.
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Post by fjohnson on Mar 28, 2017 3:00:23 GMT
I originally posted this story, but later wondered if the woman rejecting me was a good thing. Why? Does anyone think that this woman’s only character flaw was heightism? Heightism might be the tip of the iceberg of other irrational emotions. After all, she flew into a rage over me just asking her out. What other triggers might do the same?
I don’t ever have to worry about being in a relationship or marrying her, some unsuspecting tall man gets honor. He gets her all to himself, and what a lucky guy he will be, sure glad it is not me.
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Post by fjohnson on Apr 3, 2017 1:16:59 GMT
The woman who angrily stuck her finger in my face at the health club and said, “I don’t date shorter men”, proves that heightism isn’t just about height, but also status, respect and control.
A simple and civil “No thank you” would have been sufficient, but she felt compelled to demean me, because I was not worthy to approach her. That a shorter man, (lower value in her mind), would even think he had a right to approach her much less a chance to date her, was something that had to be addressed right then and there. There was no way was she going to allow this transgression to pass; therefore, I had to be put in my place.
She thought her status was above me, much like a slave holder looked down upon a slave or a nobleman looked down upon a peasant. To a heightist, they are better simply because they are taller, and those who are of less stature are valued less as human beings. It is as plain and as simple as that. I was not a tall man, so I was not valued, and thus she felt her status was in peril. I was from a lower class of men, thus no respect was given because I had no status. Furthermore, what is even more troubling about her is her response time, for she didn’t take any time to think. It was instantaneous, like a reflex, an action without a thought. Which begs the question, in what society would it be acceptable for a woman to not only reject a man, but also insult him for attempting to approach her? Where is her introspect? Where is the self-examination of her behavior? In her mind, none is needed. This is how a heightist thinks. Absolutely, no concern for those other than themselves, much like how a racist thinks or other groups who hate.
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Post by fjohnson on May 1, 2017 23:49:09 GMT
In what society would this be acceptable behavior? Where do you go to learn this attitude? Why no self –examination of her actions? She wouldn’t like being treated in the way she was treating me. Yet, this woman raged against me, simply for not being an arbitrary height, a height she established to feed her own bias.
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Post by toughlimbs on May 2, 2017 3:28:09 GMT
Unbelievable.
Now, I feel like I want to just walk up to some random, "beautiful", tall woman in the gym, and say "you're too desperate to be in here. No man is interested in you, both short and tall!" Then flip her off in your honor, but alas, that would make me a girl and just as nasty as her.
Sorry you had to go through that. You did not deserve that. No one deserves that.
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Post by fjohnson on Jul 5, 2017 23:12:41 GMT
Just re-posting because I think it is important.
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