Post by Heightism Report on Mar 21, 2017 23:07:01 GMT
This is a story of an actual Garmin I encountered.
When I was attending orientation for the grad school I attended, all of the new students were seated in an auditorium waiting for the initial presentation to start. Then, a group of school staffers entered the room. They were the ones who were in-charge of orchestrating the presentation. The only male in the group approached the podium. He was probably around 5'5. As he gets behind the podium, he says
"Can everyone see me" and if that wasn't bad enough, he jumped a few times for "comedic" effect. No one really laughed, but there have been a few awkward laughs. He didn't even say "Hello" "Welcome to campus" or anything else. He went directly into
Full-Garmining.
He didn't stop there though.
This particular Garmin was acting the MC for the entire presentation, so as the presentation continued, he continued to unleash a borish "outgoing" personality. He came off like a failed game show host. At one point in the morning, one of the other hosts was asking the audience questions, and the Garmin would take the microphone into the audience and to the person who was speaking. One time, a tall guy was the one who was answering the question, so what did our friend The Garmin do?
HE STANDS ON A FREAKING CHAIR AND HOLDS THE MICROPHONE TOWARD THE TALL GUY.
I really enjoyed attending that school, but this was my intro to campus. Literally before that fool even spoke, he was degrading his height to a room full of complete strangers, and what was even worse is that it failed to even draw laughter. It was exactly like the Garmin in the Portlandia sketch.
GUESS WHAT? THERE'S MORE.........................
About a year later, it was the first day of a new term, and we were going around the room introducing ourselves to the class. I saw a guy I recognized but was not sure where I remembered him from. When he introduced himself, he cracked a few lame jokes(not about his height thankfully) and then stated that he worked in the school's department that deals with student affairs and outreach. At this point, I immediately recognized him as the pseudo-jovial doofus who Garminned for the entire orientation presentation. About halfway into the term, a group of people in the class decided to go have a beer after class. I had to make a quick trip to the library before walking to the bar, so I told everyone I would meet up with them. So, when I walked into the bar, I noticed the group sitting in the corner, and I heard
"I'm not exactly the tallest man in the world.....but" and at this point, I don't even need to tell you who was the person that uttered that statement. I can't recall what he said at the end of the statement, but that royal loon must not ever go anywhere without self-deprecating.
In addition to the cringe-inducing nonsense that this Garmin spouts on a regular basis, notice how the school apparently doesn't mind if he makes a mockery of himself and other short people when he's making an orientation presentation. He happens to be from a Spanish speaking nation(I think he's Puerto Rican) and I can't imagine him reinforcing stereotypes about his nationality during an official presentation. Regardless though, he's always offering himself as a sacrificial whipping boy, and he's not even gaining any benefit from it because no one even laughs when he does it. He's just degrading himself, but not even receiving a benefit. Any short man who acts like this deserves the bad treatment he receives.
When I was attending orientation for the grad school I attended, all of the new students were seated in an auditorium waiting for the initial presentation to start. Then, a group of school staffers entered the room. They were the ones who were in-charge of orchestrating the presentation. The only male in the group approached the podium. He was probably around 5'5. As he gets behind the podium, he says
"Can everyone see me" and if that wasn't bad enough, he jumped a few times for "comedic" effect. No one really laughed, but there have been a few awkward laughs. He didn't even say "Hello" "Welcome to campus" or anything else. He went directly into
Full-Garmining.
He didn't stop there though.
This particular Garmin was acting the MC for the entire presentation, so as the presentation continued, he continued to unleash a borish "outgoing" personality. He came off like a failed game show host. At one point in the morning, one of the other hosts was asking the audience questions, and the Garmin would take the microphone into the audience and to the person who was speaking. One time, a tall guy was the one who was answering the question, so what did our friend The Garmin do?
HE STANDS ON A FREAKING CHAIR AND HOLDS THE MICROPHONE TOWARD THE TALL GUY.
I really enjoyed attending that school, but this was my intro to campus. Literally before that fool even spoke, he was degrading his height to a room full of complete strangers, and what was even worse is that it failed to even draw laughter. It was exactly like the Garmin in the Portlandia sketch.
GUESS WHAT? THERE'S MORE.........................
About a year later, it was the first day of a new term, and we were going around the room introducing ourselves to the class. I saw a guy I recognized but was not sure where I remembered him from. When he introduced himself, he cracked a few lame jokes(not about his height thankfully) and then stated that he worked in the school's department that deals with student affairs and outreach. At this point, I immediately recognized him as the pseudo-jovial doofus who Garminned for the entire orientation presentation. About halfway into the term, a group of people in the class decided to go have a beer after class. I had to make a quick trip to the library before walking to the bar, so I told everyone I would meet up with them. So, when I walked into the bar, I noticed the group sitting in the corner, and I heard
"I'm not exactly the tallest man in the world.....but" and at this point, I don't even need to tell you who was the person that uttered that statement. I can't recall what he said at the end of the statement, but that royal loon must not ever go anywhere without self-deprecating.
In addition to the cringe-inducing nonsense that this Garmin spouts on a regular basis, notice how the school apparently doesn't mind if he makes a mockery of himself and other short people when he's making an orientation presentation. He happens to be from a Spanish speaking nation(I think he's Puerto Rican) and I can't imagine him reinforcing stereotypes about his nationality during an official presentation. Regardless though, he's always offering himself as a sacrificial whipping boy, and he's not even gaining any benefit from it because no one even laughs when he does it. He's just degrading himself, but not even receiving a benefit. Any short man who acts like this deserves the bad treatment he receives.