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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2019 0:10:51 GMT
I have a 5'9" friend who I've tried to have heightism discussions with because of his open-mindedness despite him not experiencing heightism, and whenever I bring up the classic "height is immutable yet it's still PC to mock it" argument , he either plays devil's advocate or denies the pervasiveness. To illustrate, the last time I brought this up with him, his reply was "No, most people find mocking someone's height in poor taste, or atleast if they're doing it maliciously, it will be taken as distasteful".
He doesn't seem to grasp that 1. Most short "jokes" are made maliciously in poor taste and 2. Jokes are not always heart-felt and playful, and has never been on the other side of the fence. I applaud him for atleast acknowleding people make short jokes, but even people like this who are willing to entertain a conversation can't admit the acceptability of height jabs, and no matter what I say, he only wants to believe in heightism to a degree. Why are even the most malleable people so hard to convince about heightism?
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Post by HeightismAOS on Oct 23, 2019 0:37:24 GMT
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Post by Heightism Report on Oct 24, 2019 4:03:29 GMT
While more 5'7"+ guys are becoming aware of heightism, many or most in the height range of your friend want to "identify with the aggressor" so-to-speak. You have to realize that all your friend has to do is put on shoes or boots with 2-inch heels and he's 5'11", and those who are 5'11" can always exaggerate their height by 1 inch, and voila! - He's a 6-footer. The bottom line is he's not a victim of heightism. IMO he wants to take the side of the status quo. He wants to be on the "winning side". When you're tall enough not to be a victim, the tendency is to side with Power. Most people side with Power, and the powerful, privileged group are big men. This is why he plays "Devil's Advocate", to keep the status quo and to make it hard for you to come back with something. In my experience you're not going to win people over by discussing this with them. They're going to ignore you, or laugh at you, or play Devil's Advocate, i.e., fight you, and there's always someone around to take THEIR side, never yours. The more people you have these conversations with, the more you're going to realize this. Eventually you won't discuss this anymore with the "other", because you'll have enough experience to know that you won't get anywhere that way.
Everything you said hits the bullseye. To elaborate on this Devil's Advocate approach that people like to use, this is nothing more than a gaslighting tactic they use in an attempt to make you feel that you're being irrational. They put themselves in the role of being a "sane middle-grounder" who objectively thinks things through, therefore, if you disagree with them, you're acting irrational by being paranoid. People find this tactic easy to employ against short men because they have a litany of stereotypes to use against us if we do act "irrational" by debating them. Basically, this is just another tactic they use to hold us in our place. Of course, when you're playing Devil's Advocate in a way that apologizes for the status-quo while disenfranchising marginalized people from having an opinion, you're not really a sane middle-grounder playing Devil's Advocate; You're actually weaponizing a one-sided narrative in favor of the status-quo, therefore, you're more like a "Devil's Assistant." |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2019 20:09:30 GMT
Interesting. I’ve run into so many people who try to be the “voice of reason” and paint themselves as the mediator in arguments, I knew there was an agenda and it annoyed me but I could never pinpoint it. You also put my thoughts succinctly into words, the “middle grounders” are more annoying because they’re using a more snarky, covert form of derailing, which eludes to what my friend is trying to accomplish.
“Devils Assistant” is also much more accurate because people like my friend are not just playing devils advocate for the sake of it, they’re actively participating in status quo shenanigans. I don’t remember it but there is also a fallacy defined as “The person who resolved the argument is right, simply because of peacekeeper status”. It’s so tricky to deal with this scheming BS and everytime I get gaslighted like you pointed out in this manner, it’s 1000x more frustrating than if the person believes short people are literally subhuman.
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