Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 4:40:45 GMT
https://www.reddit.com/r/short/comments/d4e4bd/friend_of_mine_has_issues_relating_to_his_height/
So basically, OP's friend is around his height and experiences heightism while OP doesn't, and he wants to ask for advice. However, as you can probably forsee, he gets told to shove a shit sandwhich down his friends throat, gaslight him about what he experiences, and praised for having a guud attitude by this simpleton.
Ultimately whatever happens has to come from him. You can be supportive, you can help, you can uplift. But you can't do it for him.
You're actually right. If y'all are the same height, and your circles intersect that tightly, but your results are so wildly different, then it must not be the height or the circumstance. It MUST be something else, there must be a contributing factor other than just vertical height.
For instance, there are attitude differences. You seem like a generally positive person so this may come as a surprise for you. Did you know there are people who wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and curse their lives? They start with the most negative thing, and are surprised when their day takes a downward turn, even though to you or me it's obvious why. Self-fulfilling.
"All else being equal." All else is never equal!
From your side I'd suggest deconstructing why he blames his height, and noting ways in which his attitude towards his height has differed from your own. Be prepared with that analysis, if he is ever open to it. But don't push it onto him...again it must be him initiating.
And understand that non-verbal communication is very important. People telegraph what they're feeling.
The only thing I can agree with and credit him for is that he advises against bringing height up unsolicited, because of course it would make it seem like OP cares too much about his height, other than that it's all "bcuz ur friend has a bad attitude, he bad, u good".
So basically, OP's friend is around his height and experiences heightism while OP doesn't, and he wants to ask for advice. However, as you can probably forsee, he gets told to shove a shit sandwhich down his friends throat, gaslight him about what he experiences, and praised for having a guud attitude by this simpleton.
Ultimately whatever happens has to come from him. You can be supportive, you can help, you can uplift. But you can't do it for him.
You're actually right. If y'all are the same height, and your circles intersect that tightly, but your results are so wildly different, then it must not be the height or the circumstance. It MUST be something else, there must be a contributing factor other than just vertical height.
For instance, there are attitude differences. You seem like a generally positive person so this may come as a surprise for you. Did you know there are people who wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and curse their lives? They start with the most negative thing, and are surprised when their day takes a downward turn, even though to you or me it's obvious why. Self-fulfilling.
"All else being equal." All else is never equal!
From your side I'd suggest deconstructing why he blames his height, and noting ways in which his attitude towards his height has differed from your own. Be prepared with that analysis, if he is ever open to it. But don't push it onto him...again it must be him initiating.
And understand that non-verbal communication is very important. People telegraph what they're feeling.
The only thing I can agree with and credit him for is that he advises against bringing height up unsolicited, because of course it would make it seem like OP cares too much about his height, other than that it's all "bcuz ur friend has a bad attitude, he bad, u good".