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Post by Heightism Report on Sept 5, 2015 1:39:53 GMT
I attended a football game about a week ago with a friend and two of his buddies from work who I had never met before. We had a brief tailgate party before the game, and everyone was getting along perfectly. As we were walking on this sidewalk that leads to the stadium, there were these concrete poles that were about 4 feet tall. Their purpose was to prevent cars from driving onto the sidewalk. As we approach the poles, my friend tells another guy to jump over one of the poles. So, the guy jumps over the pole, looks at me, and says
"You're not going to jump over the pole because it's as tall as you are."
I just ignored him. In my younger days, I would've responded with a slur about his appearance, but these days, I don't feel like I owe them any response, and I opt to just give them uncomfortable silence, or I'll immediately start a conversation with someone else to leave them feeling abandoned and awkward.
Anyway though, stuff like that doesn't ruin my day, but it's pretty profound that within an hour of meeting me, this guy feels comfortable in having a go at my height. He doesn't know what I've been through in life, but he obviously knows that being short is looked at as inferior if he grasps the concept that a pole being close to tall as me is humorous for some reason. We're supposed to just accept a lifetime of that type of nonsense without saying anything about it. We're supposed to know our role, and our role is often to be mocked in "ice breaker" fashion, even in new social groups. Like I said, the fact that the guy felt comfortable in calling me out over my height so early after meeting me is the most telling thing here, and not the joke itself. When I'm going out doing something for leisure, I don't always want to be reminded that people see me as "The Short Guy." On this occasion, I got to see a friend I rarely get to see, and we had a hookup for some killer seats, and that colored the spirit of the evening, but it's seriously rude to vocally dub me "The Short Guy" less than an hour after meeting me. They like to tell us that heightism is all in our head, yet, people waste no time in telling us that they see us as different than "normal people."
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Post by cwallay on Sept 5, 2015 12:41:33 GMT
I've had these types of comments at work several times. From my boss, and in staff meetings that even included my direct reports.
He has done this several times saying stuff like (my name) is so short she couldn't reach the podium. Or something is so tall it would take 3 or 4 of you to see over it. Etc. etc.
Just last week we had a meeting with a team of very senior executives and we were discussing a very high level compliance investigation that our company went through last year and lessons learned. We had hired a big expensive firm to conduct the investigation and the lawyer from the firm was an ex-prosecutor. He went on and on about how she was so aggressive and zealous in her investigation and how in her previous job she had put away some big criminal so that the Chinese mafia was after her with death threats and she had to have bodyguards to protect her. He said in this meeting to the audience of senior leadership (executives and presidents and compliance people) that you'd never believe that she was only like 4'8" (she's actually more like 4'11" but whatever).
Everyone chuckled at this amusing piece of trivia like how can it possibly be true that someone that short can be such an effective and aggressive prosecutor. Oh my goodness what an incongruity! Shouldn't short people just crawl under a rock and be invisible. How dare she actually be effective at her job! How could she possibly be effective at such a job given her clearly hilarious height! Of course the speaker is about 6'7 and everyone - I mean everyone - on the leadership team is close to or over 6'. Even the few females in the company who managed to get into leadership roles are at least 5'9, most even taller.
We are expected to accept these attitudes like it's just fine and if we don't like it, then we are over sensitive and need to get a better sense of humor. Everyone gets mocked for one thing or another. People equate short jokes to other trivial appearance issues like jokes about baldness or big noses or protruding ears. I've seen the comment a few times that shortness is just considered less beautiful than tallness, so what. Less attractive people also supposedly earn less and have a harder time in life (where are there any studies showing that?!?!) than beautiful people.
I don't know how to counter that argument but I instinctively just know that it's total BS. I don't see bald guys being mocked and teased relentlessly and I don't see bald guys or people with big noses and ears consistently getting paid less than beautiful people. Or maybe they do. It's obviously not the same thing but that's how a lot of people see it. Thoughts?
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Post by cwallay on Sept 7, 2015 2:42:10 GMT
Well said! I see now that people sometimes talk to me like I'm 12 because I'm the size of an average 12 year old. Condescending Jerks.
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Post by Heightism Report on Sept 11, 2015 19:09:41 GMT
I've had these types of comments at work several times. From my boss, and in staff meetings that even included my direct reports. He has done this several times saying stuff like (my name) is so short she couldn't reach the podium. Or something is so tall it would take 3 or 4 of you to see over it. Etc. etc. Just last week we had a meeting with a team of very senior executives and we were discussing a very high level compliance investigation that our company went through last year and lessons learned. We had hired a big expensive firm to conduct the investigation and the lawyer from the firm was an ex-prosecutor. He went on and on about how she was so aggressive and zealous in her investigation and how in her previous job she had put away some big criminal so that the Chinese mafia was after her with death threats and she had to have bodyguards to protect her. He said in this meeting to the audience of senior leadership (executives and presidents and compliance people) that you'd never believe that she was only like 4'8" (she's actually more like 4'11" but whatever). Everyone chuckled at this amusing piece of trivia like how can it possibly be true that someone that short can be such an effective and aggressive prosecutor. Oh my goodness what an incongruity! Shouldn't short people just crawl under a rock and be invisible. How dare she actually be effective at her job! How could she possibly be effective at such a job given her clearly hilarious height! Of course the speaker is about 6'7 and everyone - I mean everyone - on the leadership team is close to or over 6'. Even the few females in the company who managed to get into leadership roles are at least 5'9, most even taller. We are expected to accept these attitudes like it's just fine and if we don't like it, then we are over sensitive and need to get a better sense of humor. Everyone gets mocked for one thing or another. People equate short jokes to other trivial appearance issues like jokes about baldness or big noses or protruding ears. I've seen the comment a few times that shortness is just considered less beautiful than tallness, so what. Less attractive people also supposedly earn less and have a harder time in life (where are there any studies showing that?!?!) than beautiful people. I don't know how to counter that argument but I instinctively just know that it's total BS. I don't see bald guys being mocked and teased relentlessly and I don't see bald guys or people with big noses and ears consistently getting paid less than beautiful people. Or maybe they do. It's obviously not the same thing but that's how a lot of people see it. Thoughts? To me, one of the most aggravating parts about this type of treatment, is the situations you just described where there is supposed to be a sense of decorum, yet, it's still open season on our height. You poignantly state "People equate short jokes to other trivial appearance issues," which really hammers at a major part of the issue. It's not just a trivial appearance issue when there is a proven wage/promotion gap. It's not just merely some cosmetic difference when our opinions are diminished, our input is not taken seriously, and people are always quick to point-out our "difference" to their own personal gain. It's not just a mere difference in appearance when people believe harmful stereotypes about that particular difference, thus, everything we say, do, and even wear is unfairly seen through the filter of those stereotypes. It's not just some minor issue when our particular difference causes people to interpret everything about us as "childlike." When people expect us just to "shut up and take it," they're acting as if they're the only ones who are treating us in this manner. What they don't understand(and refuse to listen to) is that this experience of us being "other" colors many(if not most) of our day-to-day interactions, so all of this so-called "joking around" really is just another feeder band of marginalization. No, we don't get foaming at the mouth offended at every joke(even though that's the stereotype the evoke if we show any resistance) but these jokes are not just isolated incidents. We're short, we know we're short, yet, people constantly go out of their way to remind us overtly, and with microaggressions. Sometimes, we just want to be "one of the gang," and not be brought back to middle school in snide fashion. Of course, their feelings about us challenging them on this type of tomfoolery are always considered of paramount importance, so it's more important to protect their egos than it is for us to be granted the liberty of informing them of the marginalizing effects that their behavior has on us. |
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